News week 46: 12-18 November

Scientists create mouse without fear of cat. Scientists have created a mouse that is no longer afraid of cats and which allows them to sniff him. Because of a genetic manipulation of the sense of smell, the smell of the cat not longer provides the mice with the stimulation to flee from the predator.
Shooter Finnish blood bath dies. It had been a while since there had been any articles of this nature, but unfortunately it has occurred once again. One can only fear for the effects this might have on unstable minds out there that might now be motivated to do the same. An 18-year-old boy opened fire in a class room, thereby killing 8 people. Several students managed to escape through the windows. He thereafter shot himself and died later in the hospital. Before the shooting he had put a video on YouTube with the title Jokela High School Massacre. He also supposedly expressed sympathies for dictators like Stalin and Hitler. Well he definitely ended up the same way they did, ….
Resident finds sleeping burglars. A resident of an apartment complex found 2 burglars sound asleep on a mattress.
Rapists Dutch woman executed in Iran. Two Afghan men who raped a Dutch woman have been executed in Iran. On the same day an Iranian drug smuggler was executed as well. For 2007 the rate of executions has now reached 252.
Dutchman more afraid of water than terrorism. When asked to think about a disaster 1 out of 5 Dutch think of a water disaster, which therefore makes it to number 1 in the top 10 of most feared disasters. Apparently we are quite rational people as a terrorist attack can only be found at number 5, whereas an attack similar to the one of 9/11 does not make it beyond the 12th position. Whether or not anybody died is not decisive for making something a disaster, according to the majority. Well, no wonder we are afraid of water, because everybody knows that is only a matter of centuries before the Netherlands will have disappeared. Nature always claims back what men once took from her. The Netherlands are but one example.
Baby born with 2 heads in Mozambique. Well this is a good one to show that it is not a regional phenomenon, though I wonder which God this could be. Isn’t there a nasty one with 2 heads? Apparently the baby’s second head is attached to its belly. Now this is when you say: Houston, we have a problem!
Impasse Belgium can last for weeks. I know I have already mentioned this in the news facts of previous weeks, but yes there is still no government and there will not be a government anytime soon. What is quite interesting is that there is at least one person in this country with some sense of reality and this is King Albert. He has urged the leaders of the several political parties to form a government quickly in the interest of the prosperity of the Belgians and the credibility of the country. Needless to say the latter will not and cannot be saved anymore J.
Driver drives without driver’s license for over half a century. Too many versions of drive in there. A 74-year-old Dutchman has managed to drive around without a driver’s license for 55 years. He was caught because he was driving without a seat belt and could not provide the police with a driver’s license when asked for one.
Confused naked man walks on highway. A 42-year-old man from Poland was found walking down the highway naked. Apparently the man had been driving to Poland when he got off the road for an unknown reason. After hitting a light mast he undressed and started walking. Apparently he wanted to go back to Poland.
Bush has faith in Musharraf. Well why am I not surprised? Bush praised Musharraf for being a loyal ally (hmmm maybe after all the other countries the US once used for their own benefit they are now about to provide Pakistan with weapons and then in a couple of years they will fight the same people they once trained and armed before….. sounds familiar?). According to Bush, who believes elections will be held in February in Pakistan: “When someone says what he is going to do, one should give him a chance to do so.” I’d say this only works when it is good for the US, because there have been many countries that said they would do something but were never given the chance by the US to do so and were instead invaded beforehand. Any comments on that Mr Bush? Thou shall do onto others, as thou wish them do onto you. But of course, Pakistan is useful in the war on terror :)
Video squashed car to provoke speed devil. Participants of illegal street races in Sydney should now be aware of a drastic punishment: the police will show them a video of how their confiscated car is being demolished by a scrap demolisher. Well, you would definitely have me crying if you did that to my lovely, red, devilish, old Fiat 500. Then again, the police officer would also not see the light of day again….
Special car for muslims. The Malaysian car manufacturer Proton is planning to build a car especially for muslim drivers all over the world. The car will contain a compass that will indicate the direction of Mecca and will have special storage space for the Koran and head scarfs. I can only say ‘oh boy’.
Elderly Italian drives 257 km/h. An 83-year-old from Padua was caught will driving 257 km/h in his porche. The man explained that he was speeding because he has little sense in his right leg due to a medical inconvenience.
Prisoner fined for forgotten dogs. A 20-year-old prisoner was fined by the Animal Welfare Services because he had forgotten to arrange care for his 2 dogs. One of the dogs died, the other one is in bad shape. The dogs are thought to not or barely have eaten for weeks. The dogs actually belonged to another man who had been sent to prison and he had asked the 20-year-old to take care of his dogs. When the 20-year-old was imprisoned as well he forgot to make arrangements for the dogs.
Run for pink clothes in Thailand. Thai stores and traders have been taken by surprise because of a sudden demand for pink clothes. The trend started when the elderly and honoured King Bhumibol Adulyadej left the hospital in pink clothes after 25 days of treatment. This trend is not only caused because the Thai want to look like their king, but also because every day of the week has a different colour. Astrologists told the royal family that the planet Mars would speed the king’s recovery. The day of Mars is our Tuesday and the colour of Mars pink. Hence, pink would contribute to the king’s recovery.
Streaker embarasses court. A 60-year-old streaker embarassed the court by undressing in the court room. The man had been arrested for streaking during a match for girls. After his episode in the court room the police decide to charge him with this offence as well.
Detainee demands pure oxygen in cell. A detainee demands pure oxygen in his cell to stop his extreme headaches. The man suffers from cluster headaches, a particular kind of headache which causes short and severe attacks on one side of the head (hey I am teaching you some medical stuff here as well ;)). A quick treatment with oxygen provides relief. Hence, the man asked to have an oxygen tank with him 24 hours a day. Needless to say his demand was not granted, as he might use the tank as a weapon and pure oxygen causes a fire hazard.
Moroccon boy lives in hospital for 2,5 years. A 6-year-old Moroccon boy has been living in a Belgian hospital for the past 2,5 years. The boy was brought to the hospital by his grandmother because he has a several bowel problem. The grandmother has vanished into thin air and the boy’s parents had already disowned him in Morocco due to his bowel problems. Total costs of all the operations the boy has undergone up to now have risen to 600.000 euros. The hospital is now looking for a foster care home.
Alcohol commercial makes minor drink more. To see drinking, makes you drink. Youth who watch alcohol commercials or movies in which a lot of alcohol is shown, immediately start drinking more. When there is a lot of alcohol on tv they consume 1 ½ glasses an hour more than usual.
Risks due to recycled condoms. Now people, recycling is good, but you have to do it within reason! You also should not recycle needles. The same applies to condoms! What do you do to clean them??? Put them in a washing machine and wash them at 100 degrees which then causes the thing to be perforated, but with the holes being so minor you cannot see it with the naked eye???? Here goes: Public health in southern China is endangered because of condoms that are being recycled as hair bands (now there is an unexpected twist isn’t there? ;)). This causes sexually transmitted diseases to be spread, whereas condoms are supposed to prevent that. (uhm…. I need more explanation here because I don’t get it or simply do not wish to get it…..). (I am sorry, brace yourself because what is to follow is simply disgusting and my imagination is visualising it…….). Women and girls who use the cheap hair bands and might put them in their mouths (YUKKKKKK) while they pin up their hair and thereby get infected with genital warts and other diseases. Ok, allow me to be seriously disgusting here and take your imagination a bit further….. now would this mean they get the wart on their face or still at the usual spot???? Note to self when going to China: bring own hair bands. I reckon hair bands is not the only thing they use them for though!
Woman shoots harpoon through husband. Hey honey, let’s go fishing…. I’ll bring the harpoon, will you be the bate? Who has a harpoon at home??? The same man who thought sting rays were peaceful animals? A Belgian has fired a harpoon at her husband. The huge arrow pierced his skull but as by a miracle the man survived the attack. The woman initially claimed that she had found her husband wounded in the car (uhuh…. Hey honey, I thought I’d play a bit in the car with the harpoon while waiting for you to come to the car).
American shoots at wheel nut. Sometimes force is needed to losen a wheel nut that is stuck. However, it is never a good idea to fire hagel at it. Ok kids, please listen to the teacher: do not try this at home! The man had been fixing his old Lincoln Continental for the past two weeks. On a Saturday afternoon he had loosened all the nuts of the right rear wheel. All but one………. Yet, the wheel would and should come off, whether or not with force…… An arms’ length away the man fired a shot at the wheel, but the bullets came back (sjees…… ever heard of ricochette????) and the man was hit in both his legs.
Amsterdam looks for place tuctucs near train station. I don’t think I need to explain this further right??? These are the tiny Asian taxi’s that are extremely polluting and noisy but are a hell of an adrenaline shot to ride in when in a busy city. However, the TukTuk Company is planning to have tuktuks driving on electricity to make them environmentally friendly.
Woman bites man in penis after he refused oral sex. A 22-year-old woman from Sweden (yes they are liberal) has to pay damages to a man after she had bitten him in his penis. The woman had gotten angry after the man had refused to have oral sex with her. Minor detail: she had never seen the man before when she approached him in the restaurant and asked him to have oral sex with her several times. Now of course you wonder how she then managed to get to his penis in the end…….. When the man left the restaurant she attacked him and pulled his trousers down and bit him. Ok guys, this is an advice to you: wear a belt!!! See, at least it prevents you from getting into these kind of situations with crazy Swedes, unless of course you wish to be in such a situation and I think many of you now think that the man was insane not to go with her. If that is the case: contact the news paper and book a one way trip to Sweden.
Teenager in coma to go on school trip. A 17-year-old Japanese girl who has been in a coma for the past 4 years is going on a 3-day school trip. Her parents hope that this way she will be able to experience and enjoy some parts of the normal life of school kids. Amongst other things they will be going to a theme park. Ok, I will refrain from any comments because I feel sorry for the girl and my remarks would just be too obvious, but one cannot be unrealistic. So a girl in coma will go on a rollercoaster? Now I don’t think the theme park will allow for that because of their liability. So then she is going on a trip and provided she actually is able to understand what is happening she will hear other kids be happy but will not be able to join them. Now then you will get part of the normal life of a teenager: they will get hurt!
Swiss are looking for volunteers to have sex with handicapped. Ok so I started providing you with all these news articles to show you what a crazy world we actually live in…… without me actually providing you with news on wars and massacres and torture etc. Now this one goes to show again what a crazy world we live in. Maybe they should start an NGO that will provide sexual services to the handicapped, the blind, the poor, the death, the disabled, the virgins and so on. A Swiss charity is looking for volunteers to have sex with handicapped. The organisation already arranged for erotic massages for people with a handicap and now also wants to provide for intercourse. Now you might actually be surprised to know that people offered themselves……… no not for free :) I don’t think we really do charity in this world, usually we are buying off our sense of guilt and to make us feel good about ourselves because we think we are helping others. So 9 men and women offered to have sex with the handicapped for the nice sum of 92 euros an hour. (wonder if they are professionals). The director denies that they are training prostitutes. Lol well then it would be a full service wouldn’t it. How can a charity train prostitutes??? Unless of course it is the prostitutes union that decides to take on a charity as well…… But I think that I am taking it too far now J The director furthermore said that “the difference between assistants and prostitutes is that they have a gentle way of approaching the handicapped and they are aware of the needs of the handicapped. They do not do it to earn money fast.” Uhm…. Remember the 92 euros???? They are not in it for the money??? Minimum wage in the Netherlands is 6-7 euros an hour…. I don’t know the hourly rate of a professional prostitute but I reckon it may start around 50-60 euros……… so ah yes, I can see clearly now…… they are definitely not in it for the money :)
Monkey wounds 25 people in Delhi. First things first, I wonder if this is the same monkey or one of the monkeys that killed the mayor of New Delhi. If not, I’d say New Delhi has a problem. The wild animal attacked last weekend causing many people to be afraid to leave their houses. Terror monkey :) Oh by the way, this article mentions that the mayor actually fell off his terrace after the attack. Now one might say: should the damn monkey…. You cannot :S The Indians (I would be more specific and say it’s probably the Hindu population) worship their monkey god Hanuman. So instead of killing them and still worshipping them, they now all remain in their houses. Maybe they should read something into this :) Or maybe I was right last time and the animals are preparing a global coupe……. Or at least in India…… Because I have seen many stories about elephants and monkeys by now. The next one is about a dog ;)
Man marries dog to escape curse. Now before you let your imagination run wild: No this is not about animal sex. It’s worse I’d say. A man in the south of India married a female dog during a traditional hindu ceremony as boetedoening for the stenigen of 2 other dogs. Family members of the man had chosen, washed and dressed the dog before the ceremony. The dog wore a sari and a flower krans. Ai ai ai ai ai. The man claimed that he was cursed after he had killed 2 dogs and hung their bodies in a tree 15 years earlier. Afterwards he lost all sense in his hands and legs and got death on one side. An astrologist had told him that he could only be cured if he married a dog. And so it was done. It is unclear if his health has improved since. Now being an animal lover I could say, that’ll do him right. But I also wonder what will happen now if he does not get better…….. because for some reason Hindus (and this is not meant in a negative way but just because I am curious about this) never lose their faith. So even if he gets more disabled he will still believe. He might kill the astrologer for having lied (he can do this as well ;)), but he will believe. After the ceremony there was a feast. The dog got a sandwich. Now I wonder here as well……. Weddings are celebrated in a big manner in India and there is lots of good food. And then the dog only gets a sandwich? I would not be surprised if the dog is now treated as dirt and was only used to get publicity and get rid of a curse………. If this is so, the man will suffer more……because he has not learned his lesson just yet and life can go on for an awfully long time…..